
“الإبحار في عمق النفس”
“ولنفسك عليك حق”
من فترة مضت كان لوَقع هذه الجملة على داخلي تأثيرًا ماديًا بحتًا، كنت أراها تحفيزًا لي للسعي على أن أضع نفسي مثلًا في بيئة كريمة، أن أختار علاقاتي بعناية، أن أهتم بمظهري، وغذائي ونومي، وتعليمي إن أردتُ أن أضفي جانبًا آخر لهذا الحق، وكله كان في الواقع ركضًا ماديًا في مجالات الحياة يوصلني في النهاية إلى لحظات يستوقفني التعب، وتخور آمالي، ويؤذيني التأنيب النابع من تقصيري..
وأتساءل أين حقي على نفسي؟
لكن في هذه الفترة الحالية بدأت أجد لهذا الحق معنى مختلفًا..
لا كدّ يّرى فيه ولا يسمع لطحنهِ جلجلة
الحق في أن أراني من الداخل، أن ألتفت إليّ، وإلى روحي.. أن أخبر نفسي في المواقف الصعبة أن لا بأس (سيُحدُث الله بعد ذلك أمرًا)
وعندما أخاف.. أُطمئنُني بأن الرحمن معي،
وعندما تسد في وجهي طُرق طالما تمنيتها أن أصبّرني (عسى أن يهديني ربي سواء السبيل) ..
هذا الداخل الذي كان مُهملًا مليئًا بأشياء عالقة من الماضي لم تحل، بعُقد تكونت لم أنتبه إليها، هذا الداخل الذي لم ألتفت إليه من قبل وتجاهلت شعوري تجاه أمور كثيرة بعذر؛ أن الواقع يفرض هذا والذي يتبع مشاعره “ضعيف” ولا وقت للنظر إلى الدوافع والأحاسيس التي في عمق النفس..
ونسيتُ “استفتِ قلبك” ..
صرت أُدرك الآن أنه حقٌّ لنفسي عليّ، أن أهتم بصحتي النفسية، وأن أداوي جراحي الداخلية مثل الخارجية تمامًا..
وأشعر أنني حين كنت في وضع مستقر لم أكن لأفكر بهذا أصلًا؛ ولكن عندما هويت في قاع روحي تعلّمت..
وكما قيل “لا تكف عن معاملة نفسك كما لو كنت تعامل صديقك المقرب”.
فنفسك أولى بالعطف، والِرفق، ومداراة الأخطاء، والتغاضي عن الزلات، والصبر.







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